If you’re gearing up to have anal sex for the first time, you’ve probably got some questions. Chief among them: Am I going to poop during the act?
Ready for it?…Yep, it might happen. But, before you freak out, rest assured that there are things you can do make it less of a, well, messy affair.
First, let’s get real about what anal sex is: A penis or sex toy is going up your butt, so the fear that you might poop is common and normal. There’s always the likelihood of a little leakage. “If there’s stool in the rectum, and there is stimulation to the rectum, it will increase the chance of having a bowel movement,” says Lauren Streicher, M.D., Medical Director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause.
But this is also why anal sex can be pleasurable—“it gets your pelvic floor stimulated and contracting, which in turn will get you to poop,” she adds. If there’s poop there, there’s a chance it’ll make its way out.
What’s more, weak anal sphincter muscles may make you more likely to leak during backdoor play, explains Alayne Markland, D.O., an associate professor at the University of Alabama Medicine.
Okay, I’d still like to prevent it from happening. Tell me how.
If you remember one anal sex mantra, let it be this: “Make sure you’re not due to poo,” says sexologist Juliet Allen, M.A. You don’t want a full bowel, so try to empty the pipes beforehand. And, she adds, if you know you might have anal later, don’t eat foods that will go through you, since it may increase your chances of pooping during anal (like spicy, fatty stuff. Definitely don’t order the chili fries).Some people will try enemas to clean things out, and this is generally safe when used on occasion, says Streicher.
You can also try shallower penetration to reduce the risk. And if your partner naturally has a penis with a large corona [head of the penis], be prepared that it’s more likely to, um, take poop out with it.
Plus, if you’re concerned about the aforementioned weak sphincter issue, doing kegels regularly can help strengthen those muscles.
But, why does it still feel like I’m going to sh*t myself?
Allen explains that you’ll probably feel like it’s happening anyway. Being penetrated causes the muscle there to move in the same way as it does during a BM.
So even if there’s nothing in there, you’ll still get that sensation without anything coming out, verifies Streicher.
Yikes, it happened. Now what do I do?
You have to be prepared to tap into your inner shruggy emoji. “The reality is, when we choose to have anal sex, we choose to put something up our bum, which is where poo comes from,” says Allen. “So it’s a risk we take.” (Simply put, but so, so true.) If you leak (or more) and you feel embarrassed, remind yourself that sex can be a messy affair. Hop in the shower together to wash off, and you’ll hardly notice.
Importantly, don’t let the chance of poop scare you away. “You shouldn’t be afraid to try sexual practices that you enjoy,” says Markland. Keep in mind, it’s also about who you do it with: “Choose amazing partners/lovers to have sex with,” says Allen. “And then you’ll be with someone who will not make it a big deal.”
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