It used to be that the sexiest thing about Christmas was a sultry serenade of “Santa Baby,” a potentially steamy stocking stuffer or maybe a post-Holiday party rendezvous if you didn’t go too hard on the eggnog. Now, there’s a new way to spice up your holiday decor, NSFW-style: Pornaments.
Okay, so maybe it’s not a front of the tree fixture or something you’ll keep out when your parents or in-laws visit, but these cheeky, hilarious ornaments may be the perfect hilarious fit for sex geeks, kinksters or your more sexually adventurous pals with the right acquired taste.
Available only through their website, these hand-painted ornaments are about 7-8 inches tall and 2-3 inches wide. They encourage folks to pre-order since they only do one production run per year — and ordering in advance guarantees that your pick of a pornament actually makes it to you.
Whether you want something phallic (a pin-up girl saddled up to a candy cane dick or a little penis cowboy) something raunchy (like this snowman couple having a romp) or something more subtle and suggestive (like a leather-daddy Santa with a well-placed package), there are plenty of options for gag gifts or a sweet something for your significant other.
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