As the owner of a sex toy store, I'm always happy when folks ask me for ideas for sex-positive presents for their partners, friends, or especially chill family members. (No, you don't need to limit your sexy gift-giving to the context of a romantic relationship.) I also love when folks are looking to treat themselves and add a little pleasure to their lives. It's worth remembering that using a sex toy isn't the only way to do this: A vibrator is a wonderful thing, but there are lots of other products that can get you feeling totally blissed-out. That's why I've rounded up some of my favorite sex-positive items that aren't straight-up sex toys. From a luscious robe to sensuous massage oil, these picks will make you feel very well cared for.
Jimmyjane Afterglow Candle
Massage oil is never to be used as lube, since it may lead to irritation or even infection, but it is a really handy thing to have in the bedroom. It comes in a variety of scents and it’s an ideal product for encouraging sexual touch that isn’t inherently sexual. (It can be if you like, though: Add it to your foreplay for a sensuous build-up to the main event, however you define that.) When this candle from Jimmyjane is heated, it melts into a luxurious, bourbon-scented massage oil.
$29 (Shop Now)
Uberlube
Uberlube is a hypo-allergenic and long-lasting silicone lubricant. It's also so gorgeously packaged you may not even want to unwrap it. Silicone lube can obviously be used for sexual lubrication, but this brand can also be used as a hair de-frizzing serum or for warding off chafing between the thighs (or anywhere else on the body). In all seriousness, I have even used it to de-squeak bike wheels and door hinges. It’s truly an all-purpose staple.
$14-28 (Shop Now)
Je Joue Ami Balls
If you have a vaginal canal, you may appreciate a Kegel ball set. While these vaginal weights are definitely capable of producing pleasurable sensations while they’re worn, their real benefit is that they can help increase the strength and control of your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. These are the same muscles that involuntarily contract during orgasm, and strengthening them can help you have more pleasurable sex.
$49 (Shop Now)
Detroit Rose Herb + Mineral Soak
As someone who has a really hard time slowing down and enjoying quiet moments, I appreciate soaks for giving me a reason to spend time in a cozy pool of warmth. If you could use an excuse for some downtime, this lovely brand includes natural essential oils and flowers in its soaks, which may be just what you need.
$28 (Shop Now)
Archer Bowchair
If you have a special someone in your life and want to get them a very thoughtful sex aid, sex chairs and ramps are amazing accessories. The Archer Bowchair is a fancy, handmade sex chair that is not only gorgeous but truly mindfully created. If mobility issues prevent you from doing certain positions that you love, this chair opens up a lot of possibilities. With the subtlest squeeze of your glutes or the push of your foot or hand, the entire chair rocks and bounces with your body, enhancing your movements.
$3500 (Shop Now)
Guide to Getting It On
If you're looking for a sex-positive book, I have so many recommendations it's hard to choose just one. Guide To Getting It On is one of my favorites: It's a comprehensive book that covers a variety of sex subjects.
Sex for One is an ideal gift for someone who is embarking on a self-care journey.
The Multi-Orgasmic Couple is perfect for a pair you care about.
The Beaver Show is a fun memoir for any dancer or performer.
More Than Two is an insightful read for any non-monogamist.
Come as You Are is bound to engage any sex geek.
$13 and up (Shop Now)
L.L.Bean Waterproof Outdoor Blanket
Blankets are a classic gift, but chances are you don't have a waterproof blanket. This plaid version is ideal for picnics on a dewy morning, or for protecting any surface from ejaculation, menstrual blood, or lube droplets. I can attest that it’s a total game-changer for any sexually adventurous human. Plus, it’s fully machine washable and dryable.
$50 (Shop Now)
WinkBeds Luxury Firm Full Mattress
OK, a mattress may not be the item you immediately imagine when you think of a typical gift. But when I finally tossed the Ikea mattress and frame set I got during college, which would always make noise and occasionally fall apart during intense sex, I realized what a major difference a solid mattress makes when it comes to intimacy. I find the WinkBed to be an ideal sex mattress: It combines springy bounce and soft cushioning.
$1299 (Shop Now)
Anthropologie Flora Nikrooz Blythe Robe
Maybe it’s because I live in Michigan, but I couldn’t live without a fuzzy robe. Robes are perfect before, during, and after intimacy, and they're almost exclusively what I wear when I invite someone over for a sex date. Otherwise, they're ideal for lounging — they're truly the costume of hedonism. This pick from Anthropologie is as cozy as it gets.
$140 (Shop Now)
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