Stress is the number one libido killer

Stress is the number one libido killer: Feeling frazzled puts people off intimacy more than anything else, survey finds

  • A survey of 2,066 adults found 45% report stress as the biggest passion killer
  • Expert claims stress creates anxiety, which puts couples off intimacy  

Stress is the number one libido killer, research suggests. 

A survey of 2,066 adults in the UK found 45 per cent report stress as the biggest problem in the bedroom.

A relationship expert claims feeling frazzled creates anxiety, which puts couples off intimacy.

Stress is the number one libido killer, a survey of more than 2,000 adults found (stock)

The survey, by BBC Radio 5 Live, found physical health has the second biggest impact on a person’s sex life, with 32 per cent reporting it as a passion killer.

This was followed by mental-health issues, which affect 26 per cent of the public’s libidos, having children (20 per cent) and work (18 per cent). 

And watching porn has a negative impact on the sex lives of 12 per cent of those surveyed.

Ellen Brady, a therapist from the relationship charity Relate, was also surprised to discover only 10 per cent highlight social media as being an issue.


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She added, however, the likes of Facebook and Instagram probably have a bigger impact than the survey’s results suggest. 

‘There’s not the basic connection happening in couples, they’re not even making eye contact or talking to each other, so it’s no wonder when they get to bed that sex is difficult,’ Ms Brady said.

Other family members, aside from children, affect the libidos of 10 per cent of those surveyed, while reality TV and friends are an issue for seven and five per cent, respectively.

Overall, half of the men surveyed were happy with their sex lives, which rose slightly to 53 per cent among the female participants.

And 58 per cent are confident about their performance between the sheets.  

However, 38 per cent of the men and a quarter of the women questioned were dissatisfied. 

To improve your sex lie, Ms Brady recommends imposing a temporary ban on getting intimate and then starting from scratch.

‘Ban sex, because whatever you’ve been doing sexually it’s gone wrong, so you want to wipe it out and start again, and just reconnect emotionally and in terms of intimacy,’ she said.

‘There’s a big gender divide on that one, because women very often want to buy into emotional intimacy and kisses and cuddles and quite often men don’t see that as a priority, they see sex as the priority.’ 

Ms Brady added, however, most men come round to kissing, particularly when they learn it often leads to more. 

The survey also found men and women have different views when it comes to cheating.

Three quarters of the women surveyed considered kissing someone else or having cyber sex to be unfaithful, compared to just half of men.

The types of people men and women would consider being intimate with also differs – 58 per cent of males would have sex with someone more than a decade older than them compared to just 28 per cent of females. 

Statistics suggest 74 per cent of Britons have felt stressed or unable to cope within the past year, with women being the most likely to suffer.

Stress can then lead to anxiety, which is a known libido killer.

This comes after research released last year found having sex at least once a week slows ageing in women even if they do not enjoy being intimate.

Being active between the sheets increases the length of women’s telomeres, according to a study by the University of California, San Francisco. 

These ‘cap’ the end of DNA strands, with longer lengths being associated with slower ageing, longer lifespans and improved overall health. 

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