Bread crumbing is a recently-coined term used to describe a crappy, age-old dating behaviour: In case you’re unfamiliar, Urban Dictionary describes it as, “sending out flirtatious but non-committal text messages in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.”
Basically, these texts serve as breadcrumbs, which are normally tossed to birds and animals to draw them in closer. Except in this case, the bird is an ex, a fling, or even a random Tinder match.
While lots of people are guilty of this newfangled dating behavior (myself included), we decided to ask guys why they’ve texted the ladies of their past out of the blue. As you’ll find, some men are genuine in their efforts to rekindle the flame while others, well, they’re just looking to get laid.
Hear them out.
“Sometimes social media doesn’t give you all the answers you’re looking for. So, being honest here, I keep in touch so I know what she’s up to. We were together for a super long time, and I want to know if she’s seeing anybody else, I’ll text her until I get that information out of her.” —Steve, 26
“Sex. It’s easier to call up an ex than to lay down the groundwork on someone new. Plus, my ex and I had already established what we like with each other, so the sex rarely disappoints.” —Aaron, 27
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“I have texted an ex because I missed her. We both had agreed that ending the relationship was the best thing for both of us, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still smile when I think about the way her lips curl when she smiles or that unique way she moves her hair from her face.” —Jared, 33
“I got home from the bar one night and started to miss being in a relationship, I guess. I was bombed when I texted her at 3 a.m. That didn’t go over too well. My partying habits weren’t her favourite, so when I reached out to her obviously drunk (typos everywhere) she wasn’t too pleased. She eventually gave me another shot though.” —James, 26
“I am guilty of doing this with a number of my ex-girlfriends. Sometimes, I just want to see how they’re doing, honestly. I spent a significant portion of my life with them and shared intimate things. I kind of want to make sure that that person is still my friend so they don’t share that sh*t.” —Graham, 29
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“After we broke up, we kind of maintained a physical relationship by texting each other every few months when one of us wants to have sex. Though it’s been less frequent lately.” —Stanley, 30
“I texted her because I felt guilty. Things didn’t end well between us, and I didn’t want want her to resent me. So after I got over my pride, I texted her randomly to apologise. She and I had a good talk about everything. Though we’ve both moved on to other relationships, that doesn’t belittle what we had together.” —Gary, 27
This article originally appeared on Womenshealthmag.com.
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